“I almost got in a bad car accident!”

My friend’s 23rd birthday was this Saturday and towards the end of the night, we went out to Dave and Buster’s in Utica. Well, even when my friends dragged me to night clubs I still was never a night-club person. All I can say about that is the spirit of God has always thrived with me. So, my whole point in brining this up is that my friend and I left Dave and Buster’s around 1:30 p.m. and on the way home, I swerved into the other lane of traffic but The Holy Spirit woke me up!

We were big kids in Dave and Buster’s but as 1 a.m. approached, the simple thought of having to drive all the way back to Detroit made me even more tired. But you know, I tried to be a good friend and not say anything. So, it starts to snow and I have to drive down Van Dyke all the way from Utica instead of taking the expressway because I-94 W is very dark around Hall Road and plus, it was snowing. As soon as we get in the car, my friend falls asleep, head nodding forward like she’s going to hit the dashboard.

I’m feeling so sleepy and Van Dyke has three lanes on traffic on either side with a turning lane separating each direction of traffic. I don’t know how it happened but I actually fell asleep and swerved into the turning lane of traffic and please believe that the I was less than 15 feet away from crashing into oncoming traffic. How I woke up – The Holy Spirit gave me a sharp jolt in my spirit and I woke up but if it wasn’t for Him, I may not be writing this today.

The lesson learned here is that since I am the driver, I have to either take a short 10-15 minute power nap before leaving for the next destination or TELL my friends when we are leaving. My friend has no idea we almost got in a car accident because umm…yeah, she was sleep. If I had a choice, I would love to be a passenger but knowing what happened to me last Saturday will make me stay awake for my own personal safety and for the lives of others.

How To Hear The Voice of The Lord

Okay, my good friends are completely surprised as I am still amazed with how God The Holy Spirit speaks to me. I know that if I had been consistently seeking God during most of my life as I have in the past years that I would be much closer to Him. But I’m glad to be where I am now. Any how, there are times when God will speak to me and tell me things and they will happen that exact way sometimes two years later or months later. He’ll tell me the names and ages of people I've never met a day in my life-and then I'll meet them-shocking yet uber cool. In the morning (actually throughout the whole day) I talk to Jesus Christ and The Holy Spirit...yeah, it's like that. Anyhow, my friends are still a little shocked that what I tell them comes to pass so I guess this is my guide to helping you be shocked by the glory of God.

I sort of analyze the meaning of symbols, phrases and the culture of the United States as a whole and started thinking about the label of “Christian.” I mean, The United States of America would be considered a Christian nation but are we really? So, one of my qualifiers besides the fruit a person bears is, “Can he/she hear the voice of the Lord?” Simply put, Christian means anointed one and across the world, the phrase is synonomous with being a follower of Jesus Christ. But I had to be real with myself one day and ask, “How can I say I am a follower of Jesus Christ when I don’t even know His voice?” It’s a long story but some years ago God had placed me around some very anointed people and I found out that God speaks to people just as easily as I speak with my friends. I’ve had situations in my life that I didn’t know how to handle, perhaps a conversation with a supervisor or a friend but God told me exactly what to do. When I listened, everything turned out even better than I imagined!

Think about it; when you spend time with someone you begin to know their voice…right? If my mom called me today, I would say, “Hey, that’s my mom!” I wouldn’t say the latter verbatim and certainly not so Brady-bunch gung-ho but subconsciously, I’d know it was my mom. Well, when you spend time with God you begin to know his voice but beware, you are going to have to be persistent and keep seeking his face. My mom isn’t at the spiritual level I’m at now but she’s learning a lot from me and she always says, “Well, I did pray about that once.” And since she’s new to hearing His voice, “I always respond, ‘You have to keep on asking, knocking and seeking until you get a yay, nay or wait.” Don’t just give up because I assure you, in the end it is sooooo worth it!

Also, when you first start seeking the face of God you have to be very careful until you start learning his voice and test the spirits. That’s what the scriptures tell us to do. Basically, when you test the spirits you must be aware that there are also evil spirits in the spiritual realm so if you believe that The Holy Spirit or God has spoken to you, then you can test the spirit or God by saying, “Who is Lord?” God The Holy Spirit would respond, "Jesus", or "Jesus Christ" or "Jesus is Lord" but if you hear nothing, or something else then of course it isn't God. So, in the name of Jesus Christ bind the spirit and cast it into spiritual wilderness until God's judgment. 3Therefore I tell you that no one who is speaking by the Spirit of God says, "Jesus be cursed," and no one can say, "Jesus is Lord," except by the Holy Spirit. 1 Corinthians 12:2-3.

Okay, I’ll have more about hearing the voice of the Lord throughout my posts because I believe it is a vital component as followers of Jesus Christ.

Ciao!

“He went to Jared!” and “Baby, will you marry me?”

So, I figured out that one of my passions in life is event planning and that the idea of planning someone’s wedding is definitely on my “to do” list. But while I’m all into David Tutera’s My Fair Wedding show, I’m also wondering about everything that takes place before the actual wedding ceremony and reception.

Now, everyone knows the Jared jewelry commercial where they really do a great job in branding their name and making Jared seem as if it is actually on the level of Tiffany and Company. But c’mon, even if Tiffany’s modern day success if partially because of its legacy and the movie Breakfast at Tiffany’s, Jared can’t compete! I don’t mean to diss’ Jared but they have to really get on the grind with their public relations and marketing if they want women to ask for Jared ring instead of a Tiffany ring. At the same time, I’m feeling that the average working man around my age may only be making 2k net at the least, maybe even less for some.

So, is it wrong for a woman who loves Tiffany and has always dreamed of a Tiffany engagement ring to expect something different? Tis’ the question: to buy Tiffany or not to buy Tiffany? I mean, I know you ladies feel the same way as I do; I want something nice but I don’t want to break this man’s bank! But, on the other hand as I told my best friend Jessica, most men always have some type of money saved up for a rainy day. I even had a friend of 23 years of age saving up money for an engagement ring so that when he did find that special, rare, one-of-a-kind woman he could easily propose to her? I guess I’m going back-and-forth because I want to be fair but really, if someone 23 could think of doing this then why should we hold our significant others to a lesser-standard? I mean, after all don’t we want someone that has discipline to budget his money properly? I figure, if I can say, “Well, instead of going out to dine every other week, I’m going to save or budget my money to do this,” then why can’t he? Not that I’m trying to break up any of your relationships but if your boyfriend doesn’t have the discipline to budget properly, then umm, how can he budget the finances of your household as a future husband and father? It's a good question and I'm not condemning him because discipline can help him get where he needs to be so don't feel as if I'm trying to be a bearer of bad news.

Now, the next thing is about how men express emotion and when finally pops the big question: Baby, will you marry me? All the time, you see on movies how men will make a really huge deal out of asking their woman to marry them because it is a huge deal! Well, when I was a junior I had a class with a young woman who started her own event planning business. I don’t think she mines me writing about her business which is Opal E Event Planning and b.t.w., she’s always been on the up-and-up with everything throughout the whole time I’ve known her. Anyhow, she evens helps with the proposal coordination! I mean, we want something really nice that shows he cares and put some thought into it! It is so easy to research and google search terms like: different ways to propose marriage; romantic marriage proposal ideas; asking a woman to marry you, etc. But if all else fails, they can get someone to help them so we shouldn't settle for less.

So, we have Tiffany not Jared and romantic proposal vs. non-romantic proposal. Not asking for much but for now, I'll digress. Oy vey! LOL.

Beware of Buying Candles at Burlington Coat Factory!

Well, I’m not a big fan or Burlington Coat Factory (BCF). It’s not a bad store but you just have to be careful about what you buy there because certain things, like scented candles are just plain unscented! Anyhow, one day my mom asks me to go to BCF with her and she’s my mom so I really don’t like to hang out with her like a good friend but never-the-less, I went just to be a good daughter. Off Topic: But why is it that moms sometimes think that they are suppose to hang out with their daughters like they are middle-aged friends? Anyhow, I’m looking around in the store and I pick up a new laundry hamper and then went to look at the scented candles trying to get my aromatherapy on.

I exit the store all happy about my purchase of Bill Blass Candles so elegantly packaged and adorned with a gold organza ribbon with gold piping. I mean, Bill Blass is supposedly the iconic clothing designer of the 1980s so what could be so bad about buying candles from his company? Well, maybe it wasn’t his company but rather the fact that the candles were probably just as old as his company or at least old enough for there not to be any scent whatsoever. I was upset to say the least and told my mom about it and she says, “Well, you can’t buy stuff like that at BCF.” I guess you learn something new everyday. I’m still a campaigner for being a girly-girl and pampering yourself at the end of a long day but buying candles from stores like BCF is not definitely a bad idea. My advice is to stick with Bath and Body Works.

How Your Sexual History Relates to the Kelly Blue Book

As I’ve said before, there are so many facets to my being that sometimes men simply choose to believe aren’t true or too good to be true. Yeah, I’ve heard this one before and don't buy the "too good to be true" because I'm standing right here. LOL. But it’s taken me some time to realize what was going on but I’ve finally come to figure some things out about the male species. Last week, we were talking about how men respect women who respect themselves and I guess this is kind of a follow-up. I think that black men today have lowered their standard for black women so much, that when they encounter a real women who upholds a standard they can't believe it! I’ve had the opportunity to talk to some real black men in my lifetime and have figured out that a lot of men see a woman’s sexual history as a Kelly Blue Book value.

You know, I don’t know if it’s something innate or sociological but I’m leaning more towards innate. I’m speaking of the fact that men tend to become very protective of the women they care about, especially after they’ve had sexual intercourse with that woman. They tend to see the woman as their prized possession, which the bible does speak of a wife’s body belonging to her husband and vice versa. I remember the movie The Best Man with Morris Chestnut as Lance and Monica Calhoun playing his fiancé named Mia. Lance was just bumpin’ and grindin’ with all these groupie "women", while on the other hand Monica was so faithful and had him as her only sexual partner. Now, I’m not advocating fornication but simply pointing out how Lance became sooooo angry when she had sex with someone else after he’d been with all these women. Granted, it was his best friend so I think that was just awful and very childish of her but because he loved her, he still wanted to protect her. How could he do this when she’s giving the most precious, sacred part of herself away like it was candy? In the same sense, he was wrong but he still was protective of her in all of his shenanigans.

Now, let’s say that you have twins named Jessica and Quiana and both have everything comparable; caring, smart, funny, beautiful eyes, smile, hair, body shape, community volunteerism, college educated, upwardly mobile, etc. Okay, there’s one thing that isn’t comparable though. Quiana Car Fax history shows that 15 men have owned her car before while Jessica Car Fax history says 2? It’s a lot of competition out here so with 7 black men to 1 black woman and with men being who they are anyway; who do you think they are going to choose? I believe it just goes back to human nature; everyone wants something as new and shiny as possible and no one wants to get a used gift. And with the epidemic of HIV going around in my race and the fact that black women are 40% of new HIV cases, it’s more “safe” to choose the Jessica anyway.

In the past, I’ve had much older men say things to me like, “Oh, your so fresh and refined,” and that “a lot of my women my age are damaged.” Gee, I wonder how they became damaged? From men like you who’ve messed over them and then when they are in their late 30s and early 40s, you don’t want them anymore. So, I’m in my early twenties and you are wayyyy older than me and have been bumping and grinding for more years than I’ve been out of High School and NOW, you want someone fresh and refined that’s not damaged? I've learned that certain men are just not going to believe the truth because it makes it easier for them to try and use you; and I'm not into arguing..."just leave em' alone." You ladies already know how I describe our bodies as being the bolt and it’s imperative that along with keeping the outside together that our Kelly Blue Book value and Car Fax report makes the next man you become romantically involved with say, “Danggggg, it’s like that?” or in other words make him say, “wow” because that’s what real kings want…someone rare and beautiful. And if he doesn't belive you, then obviously he's not a real king or "the one" for you!

He's In Love With A Stripper-The Real Strippers of Detroit Part II

So, here is the follow up and hopefully you'll be able to get through the whole post.

Besides what's been mentioned in previous post, in the stripping industry, oral sex is not “real sex.” So, what happens is that sometimes the men will say, “Ay, baby girl. Let me holla at you after the club.” Now, the strippers know what that means but sometimes things happen in the private room. Let’s remember that we have evil spirits around inducing them to do this behavior. Does it really sound far-fetched to you that evil spirits like activity that does not glorify God? Now, you have men reducing women to their mouths when God didn’t intend for this to be at all. It’s disgusting that they would not look at women for their full value but instead as an object to fulfill their desires but at the same time, they want their daughters and sisters to be respected…yet can’t do it themselves. Now the question is: How many different men will have proposed my cousin in a week? And it's like this, if a light bill needs to be paid or she has to "make ends meet" then it's all good. What man will ever want to kiss her, spend time with her, respect her and let alone marry her knowing she's does all this to other men? I just know that if it was a man going around stripping, performing services for women that I wouldn't want him to touch me with a ten-foot pole. I'd pray for him but I couldn't be with him and that's why The Holy Spirit is constantly telling me to pray for her to get out of this lifestlye.

Now, let’s talk about spirits of perversion. In strip clubs, bisexuality is glorified but men often fail to think about the spiritual aspect. If they are in a strip club and a woman has the spirit of perversion attached to her, don’t they think that advocating this behavior will leave them open to the spirit also? So, the enemy may begin to attack them in their dream life or their mind and they have no idea why. I’ve heard a pastor also say it about pornography; it’s not just a woman that is physically uncovered or naked but also a man and a person’s mind is just like a camera and captures everything. Look at what Lord Jesus says, “ 22"The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. 23But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!” The Holy Spirit told me that this is not just a figurative saying but really a spiritual one and that when you look at something in an unpure way, you are letting darkness into your body. And last thing about these spirits of perversion; people wonder why little Pookie wound up in a certain lifestyle when he had both parents thinking that is the only way a person can be homosexual. Let’s not forget that Pookie’s father or brother or grandfather carried the spirit of perversion home with him. That’s another story though.

What can we learn from part of my cousin’s experience? Well, we already know that men don’t respect strippers but moreso, the spiritual aspect of it can be reaped for many years. As women, we need to pray for the men in our life because the enemy makes it seem like something alluring or fun. Proverbs 5:3-5 We have to petition and cry out to God on their behalf to keep their steps going down the straight and narrow path because they do tend to admire the visual aspect of women. But when the blood rushes to the wrong places on the body it is not admiration. Also, ask God to speak to them and anoint their eyes, ears, mind, spirit and heart to know His voice and hearken diligently unto His voice. So, let’s say that they do end up going to the strip club with their friend or cousin; The Holy Spirit will be there in their ear talking to them saying, “You shouldn’t be hear,” or they will feel a strong sense of conviction. Also, bind the spirits that God is telling you to in the name of Jesus Christ so they will not be able to work in his life. That’s all I got for now but I pray it has helped you or the man in your life in some way. I'll be back with more so stay tuned.

He's In Love With A Stripper-The Real Strippers of Detroit Part I

I’ll say it again, “men respect women who respect themselves.” Now, you remember the old cliché, “if it walks like a duck, talks like a duck.” Some women hate to hear this but if you are dressed like a prostitute or stripper, then that’s how people are going to treat you. Some may say, “my clothes don’t define me,” and they may not but clothes do relay information about you. There’s an old rap song called, “I’m in love with a stripper,” more like lust but did you catch the song title? This rapper who produced the song, T-pain said, “I’m in love with a stripper,” as if this occupation defines her whole person. Think about it ladies; all he sees this woman as is a stripper and that is all he loves about her. What about her intelligence, her caring personality, her funny quirks? Obviously, when you are in love with someone you see all of who they are and not just their occupation but this is the only aspect of her he is interested in; her stripping. I doubt that T-pain says about his wife; I’m in love with a real estate investor or a baker and the reason he doesn’t is because he loves everything she represents, not just one part. You don't here people walking around saying, "I'm in love with a lawyer or Executive Assistant," but 9/10 they use the person's name and say, "Yeah, I'm in love with Sherry." This man can't even address this woman by her name cause' he doesn't see her in that aspect and wants to mentally seperate her from who she actually is because just maybe he will see that she is an actual person with a soul. Anyhow, I want to talk about what actually goes on in the physical environment and the spiritual aspects.

Wow…this is a heavy topic that God has given me revelation on but I’ll try to break it down as easily as possible. Well, here’s something you guys don’t know; my cousin is a stripper! Yes, she is a stripper and she does not want to be a stripper. Some of the things I tell you may be too disturbing but I am warning you in advance, it’s not a pretty occupation. Before my cousin could even take off her clothes in front of people she didn’t know, she had to drink a lot of alcohol in order to get a buzz or kind of drunk. Of course you don’t have to wonder why. But she’s revealed some things that really take place and basically, men don’t respect women who strip.Let’s look at the spiritual aspect of what happens in a strip club which many men have no idea. Now, in a strip club there are many spirits of lust, adultery, perversion, etc. I know it scares many Christians when people talk about this but God’s people perish for their lack of knowledge; God wants you to know these things. There are wicked spirits who have certain tasks within the enemy’s kingdom just as God has Archangels, cherubs, etc; remember that Satan copies what God does in the opposite. Read 2 Chronicles 18:18-22 and you will see that God uses even evil spirits to bring forth his purpose and that certain spirits have certain tasks. Is there any question that in an environment where men lust after women, commit adultery physically and in their heart and other perversions that these type of evil spirits will lurk about? What makes it worst is that these men go back home and bring these spirits into their home, with their wife, children, etc so essentially they aren’t only destroying their lives but innocent loved ones are being effected.

Okay, so you think that stripping is the only thing that goes on? Think about it this way; an evil spirit isn’t going to stop inducing men to just look and lust after the stripper, or perhaps touch the stripper but is going to make them try and go as far as the human beings involved will permit. Now, this is what my cousin says; the men which she has stripped for have fondled her and even done things to her vaginal cavity with their hands. This to me is very, very sad and sickening because she does not know these men and even if she did it would be wrong. Secondly, think about how many different men she may dance for in one week; how many men are doing this to her? How many different men are groping her and abusing her body? And then, to think that these men with their unclean hands and fingers have the audacity to go further and mess with her vaginal cavity? All so she can make $25 for a lap dance.

It may be a little heavy for some of you, so I'm splitting this up in different parts.

He Says, "I Just Wanted To See How You Were Doing..."

Yep, that’s always how “it” starts…with a simple greeting. I’m talking about the “case of the ex” or anyone that God has taken out of your life for a reason or maybe a season. One of the things I’ve learned is that a man in your life should be there to uplift you and encourage you to grow closer to God; if he isn’t doing that then there’s your answer to get away from him. In one of my first blog postings, I said to take the man’s number instead and pray about it because you can find yourself in messed up situations from giving your number first. I also said that bringing up “God” in a conversation may be able to help you discern where he is spiritually because out of the heart flows the issues of life and that’s what I’ll be talking about today.

Sometimes, we as women make some issues more complicated than they are but as I began to grow closer to God, The Holy Spirit gives me revelations on how to handle certain situations. If you really want to know how or who a person truly is, listen to what they are saying. “The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.” Luke 6:45
As women, we tend to become so used to talking to our girlfriends all the time, that we forget that men don’t communicate in the same way we do. Men tend to communicate (especially when getting to know you) moreso to receive information rather than just for the sake of just talking about any and everything. The Holy Spirit just had to remind me recently to take time and be quiet. Listen to what the man is saying because it will tell you more about him, what is in his heart and remember, “he is not your girlfriend.” If you know what this man has said in the past is wrong, then don't entertain him.

Ladies, you have to guard your heart and that means not communicating with men who are going to bring you down. Yes, you can pray for them but associating with them is not going to help you get to where you need to go. Remember this: Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life. Proverbs 4:23 or Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life. Now, what do you think happens when the springs of life flow from your heart and you entertain the idea of letting a sinful man creep back into your life? Because as I write this, it’s not just for you but it’s for me too and we all know that sin kills or the wages of sin are death…unrepented sin not under the blood of Jesus Christ. What I am saying is that you are entertaining accepting death into your heart. All it takes is one conversation, one phone call, one “let's have dinner” for you to be back in a situation that God has already taken you from.

See, the enemy likes to make things easy for you because broad is they way of destruction. But truly living for God is not easy but we have God’s spirit sustaining us. Ladies, we need to check ourselves from thinking “Oh, I just need a man to talk to and be with right now,” knowing that this man in his early 20s, doesn’t believe in following God’s word like you do and not even thinking about the slightest possibility of being married. So, what do you really think is going to happen after a couple of months of establishing a “bond” with this man and I’m not just talking about sex. Your relationship with God is going to be severely effected because his heart is somewhere else, in a place that doesn’t want to encourage you to grow. A person that is truly sent by God will always want to help you be better and grow closer to God, while they are doing the same. I am telling you personally that evil communications corrupt good manners but you don’t have to let it happen because you won’t be close enough to hear whatever this man is telling you. When you get that phone call, letter in the mail or email, don’t respond. Just remember that God is faithful and sees your faithfulness too and will give you a man better than you could’ve dreamed who will cover you as your husband.

“Ladies, watch out for those seductive love songs!”

I don’t think I would do any of you single Christian women out there in cyberspace any justice if I didn’t bring up the topic of “love” songs. So, I’m a sucker for the old school R’B love songs; the ones that talk about real love not all this crap made now-a-days. Well, not everything is crap because just this recently, I was in the car with my best friend listening to the radio and a song by Musiq Soulchild came on. Some of you may not be R’B fans but the song is called, “So Beautiful” and I’ll post the lyrics later on. The tone of the song was extremely too seductive for ME during that time but you have to judge for yourself when certain songs are making your flesh weak.

Even though we are Christian women, we are still women and that means we are made of flesh. Being that we are made of flesh, we have desires for the opposite sex and that’s the way God has made us. Since we know this, then we must be aware that as women there are certain things that can arouse you or dwell in your mind without you even knowing it. If you are sitting in the car and a specific song comes on, take into account how you feel when listening to the song and also if you feel a “Holy Spirit Check-up” happening. He knows what you can handle and what you can’t, which is why we need to be aware to what he is saying. Sometimes, I just turn off the radio to see what he is saying or affirming in my spirit about a certain thing and in this instance, a song.

In “So Beautiful” we have lyrics that every woman would love to hear from her man-ahem-her husband. What woman doesn’t want to hear she’s beautiful and that she pleases him in and out of the bedroom? You’re sitting up listening to this song but inside, you’re thinking, “Wow…that sounds really nice,” and before you know it, you are in extreme longing for the opposite sex. Again, it’s nothing wrong to desire the opposite sex but you don’t want to let your flesh get out of control

Oh-my-gosh ladies! I know it isn’t easy but I just believe that if you carefully guard your heart, it will be worth it in the end. God is going to honor your faith, submission, obedience and sacrifice meaning that when you are married, you will have husband to say all of those wonderful things and more. Just continue to watch those seductive songs and take into consideration what The Holy Spirit is saying.

My Perspective On The African-American Family

You may be new to my blog but one thing you will find out about me is that I am not the typical 21st century woman. I don't know if I could classify myself because there are so many facets to me but I guess it would be said that I am more traditional and also I am an African-American young woman, Christian, no kids, never married. Well, I try to look at things from an aspect that God would have me to because...well, He's God. A duh! So, I'm taking a break from my guest blog posts and sharing some edifying perspectives that many women don't know or tend to overlook when dealing with marriage.

Now, let's take my perspective as an African-American woman and what I observe in many African-American women. Once while at a movie theatre, an African-American family with the husband and wife in the mid to late 30s were out with their young daughter/son about 10 or so. There was a long line and the husband was basically being a man and questioning management why the line was so long. Unfortunately, the wife wouldn't let him maintain his God-given authority as head of the household and kept nudging him to be quiet. Now, how crazy does it look to have a woman try to shut up a full grown man when he is basically doing what God made him to do?

Here's a refresher and yeah, I borrowed it:

1. WIVES SUBMIT TO YOUR HUSBAND - EPHESIANS 5:22-24
Ever since Adam and Eve sinned in the Garden of Eden the battle of the sexes have been raging on! But here God makes things very simple, wives are to submit to their husbands as unto the Lord. Not slaves, not bossed around like some lower life form, not trampled on like garbage, but to respect, honor, submit to the husband as he is the leader of the family. Now some may not like that, but don’t get mad at me, God said it!

Now, in the African-American family (like many households today) many of the gender roles aren't where they should be and this is a result of many factors: slavery, western culture ideals such as feminism, blah, blah, blah. It is perfectly okay for wives to speak their mind but there is also a time to simply be led. A husband is a covering and that is the way God ordained it. When you try to step out of your role that God has made for you, it simply won't work...which is why alot of the world is in chaos now and the divorce rate is around 40%. I don't know about you but I like the fact that I don't have to always be in charge all the time; it's a huge job which is one of the reasons alot of ungodly marriages don't work is because Christ is not leading the husband in the huge role he has.

There are going to be times in your marriage where your husband is going to say, "No, we aren't going to ...XYor Z." It may be something you really want to do but he is firmly saying, "No." Are you going to submitt or simply believe that Christ is leading him to make this decision. As a man of God, his connection and prayer life with God is a huge factor in sustaining your marriage because there will be many times where disagreements may arise but you will have to submitt. Only a mature woman can handle this aspect of marriage and don't get me wrong, your husband is going to be some type of slaveholder saying 'no' everytime you turn around. A true man of God is going to have the right type of balance between being tender and firm when necessary.

The Air We Breathe-Part 2 of Previous Blog Post

Wow, it's so easy for me to be consistent when I'm only posting guest blog posts. I know I'm very analytical at times which is why I find this whole analysis so interesting because it just seems to "fit" and make perfect sense; it's like a "light bulb" moment. With no further delay, here's Part 2. And as always, I'm posting tags to make it a bit easier for you to navigate through the blog postings.

The Air We Breathe

God made Eve from Adam's rib; the part of his body that supports and protects his heart and lungs. The analogy is that the woman is the "heart and lungs", while the man is the "ribcage" which protects her.

Scripture says that the life of the flesh is in the blood (Leviticus 17:11). So when we discuss the functions of the heart and lungs, we are specifically addressing those organs needed to sustain and promote life in the body. This is a parallel to who woman is and what she does.

Is a woman's role only relevant to a husband and wife relationship? No! It has nothing to do with being married or having children. We are speaking of how God has designed women with the primary purpose of her carrying and supporting life - in all areas. Woman is a life-giver whether dealing with the family of her parents, the family of her husband, or the family of God. This is simply who she is and it can be expressed via the role of a wife, a mother, and/or a handmaiden to the Lord.

Let's look at this more closely.

The Heart of the Home
A Breath of Fresh Air
A Place of Refreshing
An Inner Strength and Might
Symbiotic Alignment
Industrious Nature
Delicate and Pliable

The Heart of the Home

There is a saying that the woman is the "heart of the home."

Notice that she is the heart of the "home", not the heart of a house. In other words, a woman makes a house a home by what she brings to it. She is the life force in the home, both spiritually and physically.

"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1"She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens." Proverbs 31:15

The Hebrew word for Eve is Chavvah which means "life". The woman is the one who propagates and regenerates life; she physically nurtures and gives birth to life, but she is also a spiritual life-giver.

The same attributes a woman physically provides to a baby in the the womb is what the woman brings spiritually to other environments: nourishment, sustenance, nurturing, insulation, warmth, comfort, a place conducive for growth, etc.

Whether one is ever a mother physically or not, like Deborah, a woman can serve as a spiritual mother to God's people.

Input from Guest Blog: The Beauty of Submission

It's just amazing how God leads me to topics I've been speaking about as He continually tells me more and more about life. A few weeks ago, I spoke on submission and how women tend to see it from a wordly perspective when the concept arises but now, I have a blog post that goes more indepthy into the concept along with marriage itself. I've noticed that today, in the 21st century it is difficult for some men to accept a woman looking to them as the husband to be a leading stable figure in the household and don't know how to accept a woman that submits. Of course, I truly believe that's one of many reasons many relationships don't last because there is always a power struggle and things aren't on a level playing field from the beginning. So, no more delay cause' if you've been searching for this topic on google or some other search engine, I hope my tags helped you a bit.

The Beauty of Submission

In the previous articles, we searched the Scriptures to establish that the authority of God is patriarchal. We also examined the story of the judge, Deborah, as the epitome of a woman in service to the Lord: one who was wise, prudent, proclaimed God's word and supported the patriarchy of God.

What then is the purpose for which woman was created and why is it so critical that she submit to man? One could simply say, "God commanded woman to submit to the man, and that's enough." While that is accurate, God doesn't do things arbitrarily. There is a reason for everything He does...even when we cannot understand it (Isaiah 55:9, Romans 11:34).

"And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him." Genesis 2:18

We stated earlier how the woman must submit to man as a result of Eve's sin in the Garden of Eden. However, notice that her purpose in providing companionship for, and being a help to, man was part of God's original plan. From the beginning, woman was created for man (not man for woman).

The question then becomes, "How is the woman to help the man?" In answering that we find understanding for the role she is to serve and why submission is necessary.

The Heart of the Matter

"And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man." Genesis 2:21-23

When God was creating woman, He took one of Adam's ribs in order to form her. This small point is not insignificant. Again, God does everything for a reason.

The ribs provide one main function: protection for the heart and the lungs. Both the heart and lungs are critical to the life of the body, yet the nature of their work requires that these organs be soft, delicate, and pliable (and thereby in need of protection).

The heart keeps blood flowing, ensuring that life reaches other parts of the body. It also provides a place of refreshing where the blood can get re-oxygenated or revived in order to continue its work. As such, the heart needs to be sensitive and flexible enough to the respond to the body's electrical impulses regarding contraction in order to keep the blood pumping. It is strong and is one of the largest muscles in the human body. It is an involuntary muscle meaning we do not have to consciously tell the heart to beat. It is created to anticipate the needs of the body and does so automatically.

The lungs are the place where gas exchange occurs within the human body; it collects the oxygen needed to give energy to the blood and expels toxins such as carbon dioxide. Similar to the heart, the lungs must be elastic enough to inflate/deflate as needed to support the inhaling and exhaling of air. Again, the lungs are involuntary muscles and expand/contract without willful thought by nature of their design.

The heart and lungs work around the clock, processing on average 8,000 - 9,000 liters of blood and air respectively a day. When they don't work properly, it impacts the whole body's ability to function as it should.

Understanding the functional purpose that these delicate organs serve and how vital their work is to the health of the body, it is clear to see why God - in His infinite wisdom - encased the heart and lungs under the protection of the ribs.

Part 2 of the post tommorrow.

God Didn't Want That to Happen To You!

All over the United States, there are black women (and men) suffering in silence because of what happened to them while they were children. Well, I want to let you know that God loves you and it was not in His will for anyone to ever physically or sexually abuse, molest or attempt to tamper with your innocence. Okay, I have a friend that would be a bit ashamed for to tell you all this herself but while she was growing up men had attempted to molest her.

When you are growing up and someone trys to molest, rape or abuse you in some way it can really effect who you become as an adult. You might think it doesn't effect you but in all likelihood, it does. So, I asked her, "Do you think you have issues with men because of what happened to you?" I'm paraphrasing but she said that basically, she doesn't trust many men even when it seems that they are legit. Of course, all women should be cautious when it comes to men but if The Holy Spirit has revealed to you the true character of a man, don't be a victim again when God has already told you that the man won't hurt you. For my friend, it's just an issue that God is helping her to deal with and each day she is growing to trust again. It's something like an in and out coming tide: at one moment she may feel hersef growing an attachment to a man but at the next instance, she's struck with the past and how virtually every man she ever met only wanted to use her. And it makes it no better that each time she's tried to step out and form something serious, men have tried to use her again and again.

Now, the main culprit who harrased my friend did so over a period of ages 11-14 but for some of you it may have happened at younger ages. Either way, God didn't want that to happen to you. The person that tried to harm you was not in God's will and was being used by the enemy to keep you from being all God intended. But I'm telling you; it doesn't have to be that way. God can release any shame or guilt you may feel. It was not your fault, please remember that. I know that like most victims, you are probably wondering "Why me?" I'm not exactly sure but I do know a savior that says you can cast your cares on Him.

God wants you to be happy, to live an abundant life not having to think about something someone did to you 10 years ago. Yes, it hurts badly but all your hurts and pains God can take them away. And eventually, you will be brought to a point where you can forgive this person for what they did. So, here is a sample prayer that you can follow:

"Dear Lord, I come to you humbly saying thank you for all you are doing in my life. Thank you for continually being with me Lord, even when no one else is there and I feel all alone. God, you know what *insert names of predator/s* tried to do to me. God, it may have happened long ago but I find myself still being affected by it and I know you want me to be healed. I don't want to cry anymore or wonder why or let this issue come up anymore in my life. I know that one day you will bring me a wonderful King and I don't want to miss out on him because of this issue of my past. So please God, take away my fears, my tears and my pain and heal my emotional wounds by the stripes of Jesus Christ. I believe it's possible and everytime you see me getting emotional over what *insert name of predator* has done, let your love wash over me and comfort me by your Holy Spirit. And even though it hurts, I forgive *insert predator* and ask that you bring them to a point where they are given a new spirt, heart and that you renew their mind. In the name of Jesus Christ I pray, Amen."

The Preciousness of a Woman's Body

Okay, it may seem a bit different but sometimes I just simply ponder on how God made things and how it fits together with life itself. So, I was speaking to a Christian associate of mine and he asked, "You know, I wonder sometimes why God made man to like sex so much?" I can't remember what I said at that time but 9 times out of 10 a healthy young man or even not so young tend to desire sexual activity moreso than young women or older women . But this time, I wanted to speak on the preciousness of a woman's body.

I've heard the saying before, "Don't let just anyone park their car in your carage." Of course, we are talking about garages literally but the saying is so true. I was reading on a Christian message board one time and a woman was saying how a woman's genatalia can be assumed to be a bolt and how a man's genatalia is sort of like a screw. I'm paraphrasing but she said that (and I believe it to be true) but intercourse is sort of like a giving and receiving which is why women really need to be careful so they don't end up being screwed!

In all seriousness though, a woman's body is not equipped to handle many different screws or sizes and shapes of penises. This is just the simple nature of things and is why I always admonish you not to give in to temptation. Maybe you think you are so young and fair now at 24 or 25 but what about when you are 34 or 35? What if you don't get married until then? I've known young women who are only around 27 that have had almost thirty male partners which means a partner for more years than she's been on this earth. At this point and as a confessed Christian, she desires to cease this activity but has shown no improvement because only submitting to God's spirit can help you overcome temptation. At one point, she told her then partner who became sick to his stomach and could not even talk to her after finding this information out and now they are no longer together.

Why am I saying all this? Well, hopefully to stop any of you from constantly being screwed. Your body was not made to receive all of these different men like this and what kind of package are you going to have to give your future husband should you ever get married? It's sad to say that most men go around screwing women or sowing their oats and then hope to find that young, beautiful virgin to marry but it's true. But whatever your state of bodily purity, try to remember that your body is precious and God made you wonderfully so make sure you treat yourself this way and that everyone you encounters treats you wonderfully. Don't throw your pearls to swine ladies; save them for your Boaz!

I hope this is helpful to anyone doing google searches so I will start putting tags at the bottom.

On Being A Virtuous Women

In order to glorify God, which is my purpose here on earth, I have a desire to be a virtuous woman. As I was reflecting on this beauty, The Holy Spirit spoke to me and said, "You can be." At this point, I want to speak about the role of a woman in marriage. I understand more of my role as a woman and in the future, a wife and mother. The more I know God, the more I know the kind of creature that He made me to be and understands that the world does try to corrupt the sanctity of womanhood as well as marriage. This is one reason I can't fall-in line with much of the feministic values of the 21st century; too much of it goes against the basis of what God has ordained.

Many times, women usually frown at the word submitt especially when used in marriage. This word is often purposely misconstrued by of course, the enemy. But submission is a God-given concept and can be seen throughout the whole earth. Think about it; there are CEOs, directors, managers, etc. There are commanders, lieutenants and sergeants along with large corporations, small businesses and consumers. Even in the spiritual realm, there are ranks of angels - holy and fallen. Jude 1:9; Ephesians 6:12. Could you imagine if everyone just made decisions and no one submitted to anyone? It would be complete chaos. The purpose of submission is to smooth relationships out and make them conducive or reduce tension/strife. Does it mean you have to give up your brain and have no say so? Of course not; what it means is that if a wife has a dispute with her husband, then out of honor for God she would submitt only if it doesn't disobey God. When you have The Holy Spirit, it's becomes easy to do the things which the world or feminists may seem as crazy.

Though men also have to submitt. In 1 Corinthians 11:3, St.Paul said, "and I wish you to know that of every man the head is the Christ, and the head of a woman is the husband, and the head of Christ is God." See, one thing I understand is that when I choose to submitt to my future husband it is also submitting myself to Jesus Christ and God. That's why it becomes easy because in my heart, I don't see it with natural eyes but rather with spiritual ones; my future husband would be led by Christ.

18And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. Genesis 2:18 God then made several different beasts and brought them to Adam and finally, He put Adam in a deep sleep and made Eve. I believe that God alredy knew He would make Eve but displayed more of His glorious power and creativity by making more animals and also allowing Adam to see that nothing else was fit for Him. For instance, it's a pleasure for a parent to see how their child learns, interacts and grows. If a parent is playing with Legos or wooden shapes with their child, then they might give them everything but the right shape in order for the child to see that nothing else fits. Then, at the end they would give them the right block piece and finally, everything comes together. That's why, even unto this day thousands of years later, men seek out women who they would deem worthy of marriage. It's an innate drive and pursuit that they enemy can not stop or at least he can not diffuse the whole majority of men to defer from God's will to not be alone.

As a virtuous women (in training) there are some things I already possess and some that The Holy Spirit is teaching me now. It's just not enough for me to be a beautiful woman physically, because there are plenty of beautiful women. But as R.A. Vernon said, "So, you look good and got a body-well, so does she and her and yeah, oh her too," and it true! I love being beautiful and glorifying God through my outer image but at the same time, I desire to always be humble having a beautiful heart and virtuous characteristics. In the long run, those along with being in the center of God's will is what will sustain your marriage.

5 Signs of an Abusive Man

So, these past two months people, especially black women have been really dogging this young lady Rihanna out. I mean, it's so bad; people are saying she should've died when they thought she was pressing charges against Chris Brown and just really mean things. But I've known of some young women who were in abusive relationships before and thank God they are out now but looking at them, you wouldn't think they'd be the 'type' to be in that kind of relationship. People didn't think Rihanna was the 'type' nor did people think Halle Berry was the type but it's not really about being pretty or beautiful, it about the inside traits that lead people to go through these hardships.

*JACKED*
JealousyAt the beginning of a relationship, an abuser will always say the jealousy is a sign of love. He/she may question you about whom you have spoken to or seen during the day, may accuse you of flirting, or be jealous of time you spend with family, friends, children or hobbies which do not include him/her. As the jealousy progresses, he/she may call you frequently during the day or drop by unexpectedly. He may be unhappy about or refuse to let you work for fear you'll meet someone else, check the car mileage or ask friends to keep an eye on you. Jealousy is not proof of love, it is a sign of insecurity and possessiveness.

Controlling BehaviourControlling behaviour is often disguised or excused as concern. Concern for your safety, your emotional or mental health, the need to use your time well, or to make sensible decisions. Your abuser may be angry or upset if you are 'late' coming back from work, shopping, visiting friends, etc., even if you told him/her you would be later back than usual. Your abuser may question you closely about where you were, whom you spoke to, the content of every conversation you held, or why you did something he/she was not involved in. As this behaviour gets worse, you may not be allowed to make personal decisions about the house, clothing, going to church or how you spend your time or money or even make you ask for permission to leave the house or room. Alternately, he/she may theoretically allow you your own decisions, but penalise you for making the wrong ones. Concern for our loved ones to a certain extent is normal - trying to control their every move is not.

Quick Involvement
Many victims of abuse dated or knew their abuser for less than six months before they were engaged or living together. The abuser will often claim 'love at first sight', that you are 'made for each other', or that you are the only person whom he could ever talk to so openly, feel so at home with, could understand him so well. He/she may tell you that they have never loved anyone so much or felt so loved by anyone so much before, when you have really only known each other for a short amount of time. He/she needs someone desperately, and will pressure you to commit to him/her or make love before you feel the relationship has reached 'that stage'. He/she may also make you feel guilty for not committing yourself to him/her.

Unrealistic Expectations
The abuser may expects you to be the perfect husband, wife, mother, father, lover, and friend. He/she is very dependent on you for all his/her needs, and may tell you he/she can fulfil all your needs as lover, friend, and companion. Statements such as: 'lf you love me, I'm all you need.', 'You are all I need.' are common. Your abuser may expect you to provide everything for him/her emotionally, practically, financially or spiritually, and then blame you for not being perfect or living up to expectation.

Isolation
The abuser may try to curtail your social interaction. He/she may prevent you from spending time with your friends or family and demand that you only go places 'together'. He/she may accuse you of being 'tied to your mother's apron strings', not be committed to the relationship, or view people who are your personal friends as 'causing trouble' or 'trying to put a wedge' between you. He/she may want to live in the country without a phone, not let you use the car, stop you from working or gaining further education or qualifications.

I wanted to add that these men are master manipulators. They know which strings to pull and even do so just to get a reaction out of you; it's like a game or fun to them. One way that wasn't mentioned in the signs above is that you should never feel afraid or scared of their reaction if you did something you know they would probably go "balistic" about, like calling them an hour or two later than you said. They will use their anger as a way to make you scared of them and guilty if you don't do something they want. It's best that you safely exit the relationship now because it will only get worse.

If they are constantly saying stuff like, "I oughta' slap the * * out of you," then what makes you think they won't actually do it one day? You are so much better than that and deserved to be treated like a queen.

Worship and Praise...It's What We Do!

Hey y'all. I pray that you've been doing well and living in God's will for your life.

It's so good to be back and talking with you all and seems like I've had quite a hiatus from this blog though it hasn't quite been a month. But you all know that I attempt keep you consistently engaged though other activities prevent that.

This week, I wanted to discuss something that I spoke about in one of my earlier posts and something I just learned in the past few months. It deals with the basic question that many human beings ask themselves: Why am I here? It also deals with questions many Christians ask themselves: What can I do to grow closer to God?

Well, the first question I really didn't understand until around last year even though I audibly heard the answer of the purpose of humanity when I was in high school. However, at that time I didn't fully receive or understand what he meant. But I know that over my life time, I have heard many, many people ask this question: Why am I here? The simplest way that I can put it is that humanity was made for the glory of God and so was the earth. That is why we are here: to glorify the creator of all things that exist, God Almighty, Jehovah Jireh, I am that I am, Alpha and Omega, etc. When I say the creator of all things that exist, I do not mean a "higher power" which I often times hear many people use as if they are saying they believe in God. I am saying the creator of all things that exist according to the scripture in John chapter 1, verse 3: He created everything that there is. Nothing exists that he didn't make.

A few weeks ago, I was watching a commercial and it instantly didn't sit right with me and I am speaking of the content of the material. No, there wasn't anyone naked or any brutality being conveyed but the message of the commercial advocated evolution which as a follower of Jesus Christ, I do not believe in. In this particular evolution theory, they used an Amoeba (or the smallerst living single-cell organism) to show how it turned into a fish, then a lizzard, then a monkey, then a caveman, then a man in the 21st century chewing gum. Okay, this evolution theory says that an amoeba turned into a fish, then a lizzard but if the fish turned into a lizzard, why do we still have fish today? Furthermore, if it took one amoeba to turn into all the things which make up the earth, then why are some living things inactive and others are active. What would make the smallest single-celled living organism differentiate between evolving into a tree versus a bear or a deer. Further more, this theory does not explain how the sun, moon, stars or galaxy came into existence. In such theories, there is always a purpose behind why creatures look or behave the way they do now yet I am waiting for science to explain evolution's response to why every human being ever born will not have the same finger print as another human being; what purpose in evolution could this serve?



Now, in the book of Romans it say that the invisible qualities of God have been clearly seen. In the basic English version the scripture look like, "20For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature,(A) have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse." It says in previous passages that the wicked will experience God's anger because "the truth about God is known to them instinctively" and that "God has put this knowledge in their hearts." If you simply take time to look at the sky, or the flowers, or insects, or anything that you can see, it is truly wonderful how creative God is. There could be hundreds or thousands of different species of insects or trees, or even how beautifully the sky changes colors of organge, dark blue, pink, white, etc. We often take these small things forgranted but simple reflection reveals the true beauty of it all and the nature of God and how he ordains each thing to fufill a purpose. Human beings, which are creatd a little lower than anels are also ordained to fufill a purpose and glorify God.

That is why we are here, to glorify God through our obedience, worship, love, praise, etc. When you think of all he's done for us, it isn't much to ask. One thing I've learned about humans is that since we are made to glorify God and worship Him, that even if we turn from this we still end up glorifying and worshipping something because that is what God has put in us from the beginning. He lets us choose where we will walk in that innate passion to worship and if it will be Him or something else. All throughout the bible, God tells us that we shall have no other God's before Him. We should not put anything above our relationship with Him or make it our complete object of affection. For some, its the pursuit of money where they may do any and everything to obtain money even if its goes against the Word of God. I don't want you to think that you shouldn't pursue being wealthy or having money because it is God's will that you have life abundanlty in all arenas, yet there also should still be a balance. You have to make sure that you seek Him first and not the money or other things you may fancy.

In my years of trying to walk in obedience to God in His will, I never understood the importance of worship and praise in this pursuit. I had walked in obedience and prayed but was missing the worship part of being a Christian that is soo important. As explained to me one day, "God is looking for the true worshippers..." All this time, I had been trying to find God as the bible says we should seek Him but a pastor revealed on television that there are times when God will seek you out - one of them is during a time of true worship. Jesus says in John, "23But(A) the hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshipers will worship the Father(B) in spirit and(C) truth, for the Father(D) is seeking such people to worship him." This means that when you worship God in spirit and in truth, God is looking for you. In Psalm, King David says that God is searching the whole earth to see if anyone has understanding. So, when you humble yourself, ask for forgiveness, truly repent and worship God, He is looking for you.

I will go into more detail about worship in the next blog post. Until then, I pray that God's will is done in your life as it is in heaven every single day that you breathe.

The Beauty of Pregnancy

I don't know specifically why, but it seems that in the past two years my desire to have a child has tremendously increased. I find myself looking at third-trimester pregnant women with a sense of awe and wonderment. I mean, it's so beautiful to me. The fact that you actually have a life, a little person, another human being growing inside of you that in the most optimal situation is the result of your love for your husband and his love for you.

Foolish Things

Lacking in sense, judgment or discretion. According to Meriam-webster.com, this is one of the definitions for foolish.

Sometimes, when we look back on our past and ask, "How could I have been so foolish?"

Today, I was reading something I had wrote in December; something that had happened in my past that really made me sad. Simply and truly reflecting on situations you've been in can make you that way sometimes. But we grow, and we move past it yet the memories are still there but as I began to feel sad, I knew that God could lift me up. So, even at my job I went in the bathroom and prayed because I knew that I couldn't let the mistakes of my past affect me like this. I didn't want to feel sad for things that God had already forgiven me for so I prayed and God led me to this scripture and comforted me with His Word. Isaiah 54:4,

4Don't be afraid or ashamed
and don't be discouraged.
You won't be disappointed.
Forget how sinful you were
when you were young;
stop feeling ashamed
for being left a widow.

See, God is great in his love and mercy even beyond what we can understand most of the time. So, even when we have done things in our youth, foolish things that of course went outside of God's will he can restore us and will always be there. In v.10, he continues to say,

10Every mountain and hill
may disappear.
But I will always be kind
and merciful to you;
I won't break my agreement
to give your nation peace.

Many times, it's maturity itself that brings this shame that many people feel and sometimes, it can be other Christians. People in the church who look down on those who may have fallen since for some reason, people forget that we all are human. There are those that tend to unjustly judge the sin that they can see yet seem to forget that they have sinned, only their sins are hidden from public view. Married women may sometimes look down or frown their noses upon the pregnant young woman who was never married and say, "Hmphh, these girls need to learn to keep their legs closed." Yes, I've heard women say this and even though this is true, do you not remember the shame of your youth?

Do you not remember the foolish things you have done? Maybe your sin didn't result in pregnancy or being in a car accident from drunk-driving but it doesn't mean that you didn't sin. When these people look at others who have been "caught-up" in situations, they may frown their noses as if they haven't done wrong but must remember, "but for the grace of God, there go I." It's his grace that has sustained them and keeps all of us. Instead of putting someone down and constantly talking about them or the problem, pray for the person because they already feel enough guilt as it already is; they don't need you to make them feel any worse.

I'm not saying, "don't judge" because Jesus didn't say this and the scripture is taken out of context many times. He said in KJV of Matthew 7:1-5,

1(A) "Judge not, that you be not judged. 2(B) For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and(C) with the measure you use it will be measured to you. 3Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but(D) do not notice the log that is in your own eye? 4Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when there is the log in your own eye? 5You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.


How can someone that has not swept around their own door sweep around yours? That's one of the issues now-a-days in the church. A young pastor is admonishing the congregation not to committ adultery, yet he himself is committing sexual sin and thinks no one knows! How about that...SMH. This is the kind of stuff that makes people think, "How can you try to condemn me when you aren't right yourself?" When you judge in love, have your stuff together so please don't misunderstand because there is a time for everything. Even when the time comes, we must remember that we all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God and none of us are perfect but are constantly being changed by God.

I'm saying all this to say, regardless of the foolish things you've done in the past or "during your youth" as the bible puts it; you don't have to be. You can grow from your mistakes and know that God will give you beauty for ashes. He will bring you to an expected end regardless if you can see it or not. Every now and then, you may feel ashamed as you reminsce on how you've messed up but shake it off and remember that in His prescence there is the fullness of joy.