Steps to Preparing Yourself for Future Husband

6.) Strengthen your spiritual relationship with God before getting into any relationship.

This has to be one of the most important things I have learned thus far in my life and if I would've known this earlier, alot of heart ache could have been saved. All my Christian ladies, if you are connected to God then he will lead you in all your paths and put you in the right places. But you have to be connected in order to hear from him and know when and where to turn. The more time you spend with him, the more you will get to know him. Try taking time throughout the day to say a prayer and worship thanking him for what he's done in your life, asking him to purify you and mold you into the type of woman he wants you to be. You can spend time reading a scripture in the bible and before reading it asking God to give revelation through his holy spirit of what he wants you to get out of the word and not what you want to see from it.

Over time, you will or should see yourself slowly changing if you have that desire because being in his prescence time and time again should change you. You should start to bear fruit resembling a "child of God." God is love so you should see your fruit bearing good things meaning you may have more patience than you've had in the past, you may stop cursing, lusting, gossiping, etc. But you should definitely see yourself change!

5.) Don't try and change a man!

You can't change anyone...okay? Let's get that straight first! Only God can change people and since you are not him, get over thinking that your lifestyle will instantly make him change. Now, I know some of you are saying, "Well, doesn't it say that if a Christian wife can influence her ungodly husband?" Yes, the bible does say that but they are speaking of a situation that has already occured where the woman became involved or married to the man while she was not a Christian also. It doesn't mean that you should jump in a relationship thinking that because you go to church, read the bible, pray and are righteous before God that this man will be....cause' trust me, he won't!

What will happen is first, you will be so in-love with this dude that you will fall off on your devotional time to God. I don't care what anyone says, relationships do effect the amount of time that you can devote to God...period. Instead of reading scripture, you will be on the phone talking to him till' 11:30 p.m. at night. Instead of going to church, you will not feel the need to go as you did before...thinking, "oh, it's just one Sunday." Somehow, that will turn into two, three and four and before you know it, you will have missed months of service. Then you won't even be connected to the body and have no one but other Christian friends speaking into your life and no other saints. All of this combined will make your flesh weak and soon you will start to give in to the advances of your boyfriend because your thinking, "Hey, we've been together for some time now. I mean, I know it's wrong but I'm only human." And that is when fornication, sexual sin ....whatever you want to call it will make you feel good, then bad, then good. It's the plight of many Christian women...balancing a healthy, normal relationship with not fornicating.

Don't make yourself go through this unnecessary because once soul ties are made...they are hard to break. You might find yourself thinking about an ex from three years ago and not know why...it's because of the soul tie made through sex that needs to be broken in the name of Jesus. Soul ties don't even have to be sexual so either way, make sure he is a man of God and the holy spirit will guide you on this. This leads me to tip # 3:

4.) Don't just accept or give your number to any man that looks and talks a good game!

This last week, some dude in one of those car places asked me for my number and what did I tell him, "You know, that's flattering but I am going to have to pray on this." Now, why did I tell him that? Well, first I wanted to see his initial physical reaction to the word "prayer." And two, I wanted to hear his verbal response to what I had to say.

Now, in this word we are taught to be so pc (politically correct). Don't talk about religion, sex or politics. Okay, I can understand this to a certain extent but my love life is not in the office and I'll be darn if I don't talk about God or try to keep him in some box for fear of being un-pc. It's just not happening for me. I want to see if this man I am interested in or vice versa is on the same level as me. Does he go to church...does he read the bible...is he steadily trying to improve his relationship with God?

Ladies, if you mention God to a man who wants to get to know you better and you see him frown or some involuntary twitch going on...then you want to do some more investigation before as I would likely say the conversation irriates him. Do you really want someone like that in your life? Sometimes, you can't see the signs cause' he may be a wolf in sheeps clothing and what your natural eye can't perceive the holy spirit can. That's one of the reason's we have him y'all...comfort, revelation, etc.

When you are praying about this man, just tell God how you feel. "God, I am really attracted to this man but I am unsure if he is a man of God or even if he is, I don't know if this man would be right for me. Lord, let your will be done in Jesus name cause' I don't know."

3.) Don't pursue the man!

You know, I know times have changed since the 50's but I am still a staunch believer that it is a man's nature to pursue the woman. What does scripture say, "He who finds a wife finds a good thing and receives favor from the Lord." Proverbs 8:35. So, what does that tell you right there? It tells you that the man goes out looking for his wife...not the wife looking for the husband. And that is exactly why I believe so many marriages end up not working because they are leveled on the wrong playing field from the start. You can't change the nature of what God has ordained and think it is going to work. Let the man be the man for goodness sake! If he wants you as much as you want him, there is not going to be anything to stop him...nothing! If he really is hoping to build something with you, then he would be afraid that another man is goin to come along and he is going to miss out on the opportunity of a life time and spend a long time regretting. Ladies, don't sell yourself short; let the man do the chasing.


2.) Don't date just to date.

Seriously, what is the point in "dating" (for Christians at least) if it isn't to marry? Okay, here is an example one of my friends just went through. She ended up dating a guy and missing the signs as often women do, that he wasn't ready for marriage. Now my friend is a Christian in her early twenties, this guy is in his mid-twenties. He told her he didn't want to get married until his early thirties. I mean seriously, "what the heck are you thinking?" So, you are telling her that you want to waste up her youth and years "dating" her, having all the pleasure of being in a relationship not to mention the guilt of sexual sin placed on her cause' she loved you and then turn around and say, "ummm, but I don't want to make that committment." Well, serioulsy dude, don't waste a woman's time. Time is precious and short. Life out here is difficult enough but then we ladies let guys take up time and waste it when there mind is not even in "marriage mode." Don't let some jerk take up your time blocking the your real future hubby. Establish before anything even heavy pops off.

"Bob, I'm flattered that you feel this way but I mean before we go any further, I have to know what you are looking for cause' I don't want to waste either one of our time." He could say, "I just want to kick" or "I am looking for a wife." If he is just looking to kick it, then you say, "Well, I want more than that. I'll pray that God directs your path."

See dating sets people up to be in relationships for 5 years with no prospects of being married. It sets women up to be "mothers of children" instead of "wives" and men to have a complaceny about what it means to be "in love." Don't be scurred to tell a man what you expect or mention the "m" word...they need to know where you are coming from so they can't say that they never knew.


1.) What Can You Offer?

Okay, this is something that took me some time to come to grips with but seriously, "What can you offer your future husband?" You are suppose to be a "help-meet" basically, you are called to make things come together and offer assistance. At least that is what I see myself as and I am recognizing and appreciating more and more the type of woman God has made me; I am truly a helper. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying if you are an agressive type of woman that you are in the wrong nature. I'm just saying that for me personally, I am not that way so of course God would have to put me with someone compatible to my personality traits. I'm not sure if an agressive woman goes with an agressive man so you would have to pray that God fits you to your perfect match in a man.

But back to the topic at hand. As a woman, you want to help your husband in every way possible. You want to help him excel in his God-given talents, his ambition for life, God's purpose for his life, in being a good father, a good husband, a outstanding leader in the church and community. That is the many things in addition to having your own ambitions that you are called to do, so ladies our job is not for the faint of heart.

And while you are waiting on your husband, still go out, enjoy life and take time to make self-improvements. Get your nails done, your hair done, read a book, take a pottery or painting class. Or in my case; get a gym membership and lose that thirty pounds you've been meaning to get off!