We are embarking on a new year and I just wanted to clarify some things in my last blog posting.
I get an impression from the holy spirit that some of you may be questioning why I am telling my younger cousin that basically that, "most men are no good." Trust me; I don't believe this at all.
Rather, I would tell her to judge each man through God's guidance and the attributes that they display to you. I would tell her not to automatically assume that men are bad by defualt because this is what the "7/10" number can lead one to think. I was wrong in writing this and I don't want her growing up thinking this so thanks to the holy spirit I have adjusted my approach.
Toodles!
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Saturday, December 27, 2008
But the Greatest of These Is Love
Hi everyone. I hope you had a very Merry Christmas and are preparing for your New Year, God willing and of course he is.
This quote is often repeated by many people but to me or so I’d like to believe: it has a very special meaning to me.
At night, while most may be asleep I often find myself waking up and just pondering on how we as women (at least most of us) can continue to love despite being hurt time and time again in the past. How is it that we can look at a situation with child-like faith and bright-eyed enthusiasm and say, “This time it’ll be different,” when the past events have shown us that the likelihood of this occurring is “zilch to none.” None-the-less, we forged over our past regrets and look toward a brighter future praying to God at night, “Lord Jesus, let this one be 'the one.'”
I know that I am not the only woman who feels this way though it often times feels like my tears have been the only ones shed. But as I write my blog, it serves not only as a release for my creative expression, edification for the body of Christ but also a formal remembrance of where I’ve been and where I am going. My personal and friends’ experiences, sentiments are being compiled from a perspective of what the average woman has endured.
I feel for my young cousin, who is still in my generation and going through what many young black girls do…unfortunately. What words of wisdom can I give to her when statistics say that peers are a greater influence on a child than their parents or other authoritative role models? Is it possible for a two-hour a week heart-to-heart conversation to counteract the effects of her listening to rapper Lil’ Wayne and Plies or watching BET two hours a day? I want to shield her from the hurt and pain of finding out that most men that she will meet will only want one thing. Though it sounds jaded, many men that she will encounter as an adult will have no idea what celibacy means.
This summer, I met the most cunning black man that I’ve ever met. Every sign showing his true character I overlooked, in hopes that “maybe it will get better.” He led me to doubt who I was and the many things I believed in only because of his own selfishness. God had to pick me up and take me out of the situation because I couldn’t see “the trees from the forest.” I was in a valley and God elevated me above the situation. I can look back and say that what the enemy meant for my harm, God turned into my benefit. I found out that above all things, I should seek his kingdom first and having a right standing with him and all these things will be added unto me. I am completely and totally content with God alone though I know that it is in his will to compliment me with a mate.
“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”
1 Corinthians 13:13
The Audacity of Hope: Wondrous Possibilities
When I met him
I never knew
But as time passed on
My feelings grew
And if our season
Has come to an end
I pray to God
That we become friends
God speak to his heart
And let him know
My kindness awaits
With sincerity in tow
Lord not my will
But may yours be done
In the holiest name
Of thy only begotten son…
Jesus. Amen.
This quote is often repeated by many people but to me or so I’d like to believe: it has a very special meaning to me.
At night, while most may be asleep I often find myself waking up and just pondering on how we as women (at least most of us) can continue to love despite being hurt time and time again in the past. How is it that we can look at a situation with child-like faith and bright-eyed enthusiasm and say, “This time it’ll be different,” when the past events have shown us that the likelihood of this occurring is “zilch to none.” None-the-less, we forged over our past regrets and look toward a brighter future praying to God at night, “Lord Jesus, let this one be 'the one.'”
I know that I am not the only woman who feels this way though it often times feels like my tears have been the only ones shed. But as I write my blog, it serves not only as a release for my creative expression, edification for the body of Christ but also a formal remembrance of where I’ve been and where I am going. My personal and friends’ experiences, sentiments are being compiled from a perspective of what the average woman has endured.
I feel for my young cousin, who is still in my generation and going through what many young black girls do…unfortunately. What words of wisdom can I give to her when statistics say that peers are a greater influence on a child than their parents or other authoritative role models? Is it possible for a two-hour a week heart-to-heart conversation to counteract the effects of her listening to rapper Lil’ Wayne and Plies or watching BET two hours a day? I want to shield her from the hurt and pain of finding out that most men that she will meet will only want one thing. Though it sounds jaded, many men that she will encounter as an adult will have no idea what celibacy means.
This summer, I met the most cunning black man that I’ve ever met. Every sign showing his true character I overlooked, in hopes that “maybe it will get better.” He led me to doubt who I was and the many things I believed in only because of his own selfishness. God had to pick me up and take me out of the situation because I couldn’t see “the trees from the forest.” I was in a valley and God elevated me above the situation. I can look back and say that what the enemy meant for my harm, God turned into my benefit. I found out that above all things, I should seek his kingdom first and having a right standing with him and all these things will be added unto me. I am completely and totally content with God alone though I know that it is in his will to compliment me with a mate.
“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”
1 Corinthians 13:13
The Audacity of Hope: Wondrous Possibilities
When I met him
I never knew
But as time passed on
My feelings grew
And if our season
Has come to an end
I pray to God
That we become friends
God speak to his heart
And let him know
My kindness awaits
With sincerity in tow
Lord not my will
But may yours be done
In the holiest name
Of thy only begotten son…
Jesus. Amen.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
A Poem
Hey ladies,
I know I am suppose to finish the series on what is true love and I will but I have composed a poem that I hope you all will like. I haven't given it a name yet, so maybe some of you can help me with that.
He tried to bring her down
Yet she knew love should be uplifting.
He told his lies
And for a time, she believed
This is what love is,
This is what love should be.
He controlled her time
Even her thoughts belonged to him
All she wanted was sincerity
While he projected fallacies as his love’s proof
All the while saying, “I’d never hurt you.”
She wanted something more
Yet he acted as if this was unsensible
She wanted to give her all
Yet he could only receive the physical.
She didn’t know her beauty
Though a million times she’s been told
It didn’t sink it
Until God released him from her soul.
She went looking for love
In all the wrong places
And as she reminisces
It brings tears at the basis
For false love wears many faces.
I know I am suppose to finish the series on what is true love and I will but I have composed a poem that I hope you all will like. I haven't given it a name yet, so maybe some of you can help me with that.
He tried to bring her down
Yet she knew love should be uplifting.
He told his lies
And for a time, she believed
This is what love is,
This is what love should be.
He controlled her time
Even her thoughts belonged to him
All she wanted was sincerity
While he projected fallacies as his love’s proof
All the while saying, “I’d never hurt you.”
She wanted something more
Yet he acted as if this was unsensible
She wanted to give her all
Yet he could only receive the physical.
She didn’t know her beauty
Though a million times she’s been told
It didn’t sink it
Until God released him from her soul.
She went looking for love
In all the wrong places
And as she reminisces
It brings tears at the basis
For false love wears many faces.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
First Part Series: Do You Know HOW to Love?
Hey ladies!
I hope your week has been going well! I think it has been about a week since I last talked to you all but this week, I want to talk about the meaning of "love." What is love? I mean, what does it really mean? Alot of times we use this word but without any real insight to what love is suppose to bear.
This week, I am going to go to the book of 1 Corinthians 13:4-13 which describes love as the following:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. . .And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
Now, if you say you love someone, are you bearing the fruit mentioned above?
Let's just take the sentiments of patience and kindness. How are you being patience with the ones you love? Take two minutes to think about it. What are the times in your life that your patience was tested with your loves ones and you endured and didn't become irritable or frustrated? There are going to be situations in all of our lives where our patience is going to be tested but how we react is what really says alot about us and our level of love for the individual or individuals that may be involved.
Some of you may be saying, "Great, I got this. My patience level is off the chart!" But some of you may be thinking, "Wow, I really do need to improve on being a more patient person."
Well, this is what it says in the book of Thessolonians on patience.
1 Thessalonians 5:14
14 And we urge you, brothers, warn those who are idle, encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone.
Sometimes, we encounter experiences with other people who we may not have a relationship with directly as far as love BUT Jesus tells us in the new testament to "love your neighbor as you love yourself." So, even if you don't have a personal relationship with them, you are still to try and show them the love of God and be patient with them. Maybe it is someone on your job who has been working your nerves. In those situations, meditate on Thessalonians 5:14 and remind yourself that you are to be patient with everyone. You might have to get up, go to the bathroom and say a short prayer; just try to continually renew your mind so that you will gain more and more patience.
In James it says, "James 1:3–4
3 because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4 Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." When people do things to upset you, be slow to anger. Remember, in these instances your faith is being tested;your faith in God, his word, etc. Show that you truly do believe and have faith in his word when he says that you should love your neighbor as you love yourself by having patience with people because there are times when other people demonstrate patience with you! And when you love your neighbor as yourself, wouldn't you want someone to show love to you and be patient in your shortcomings.
Does this mean that you have to accept any and everything that a person dishes to you? No, of couse not. I am not saying this at all. I just received a word from the holy spirit. He says to "guard your heart above all things." The word can be found in Proverbs; "Above all else, guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life. Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you. Make level paths for your feet and take only ways that are firm. Do not swerve to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil." - Proverbs 4:23-27
Wow, I'm on a roll today! Glory to God cause' I just receive another word from the holy spirit. But let me finish the last verse with saying, when you guard your heart you are able to discern what to do in certain situations. When you keep your eyes straight ahead, you are only looking towards God and when you are looking towards him he is telling you what to do, how to react when you have someone in your life who is doing you wrong. They may be throwing "darts" at you or doing other things and God might say, "Go, down this road and turn here." The road he may be leading you down could be a road where this person may be taken out of your life for a specific season or reason in order for them to grow and develop or maybe a time for you to grow and develop also. If this happens, let it be because this is the time that you can use to pray for them and their shortcomings as well as yourself.
Okay, the next verse I just received is in Luke.
27"But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.
I know this is hard to do but this is what God instructs and we both know that he knows wayyyyyy more than us and there is a reason he tells us to do this. After all, we were once enemies with him and he loved us FIRST so why wouldn't this principal follow in our lives? Maybe I will expand on this more next week cause' this is hard for a lot of people to do.
Last verse I received, "All things work together for the good of those who LOVE God and are called according to his purpose." No matter what happens things are going to work out good for you if you love God. I'm not talking about religion, I'm talking about relationship; attempting to show your love for him by obeying his commandments, spending time with him, etc. When you show your love for God, he is going to tell you what to do and how to do it. When you pray, have an open ear and listen for his sheep know his voice. He will tell you how to deal with the people in your life, whether through profound dreams, the holy spirit, his Word, other Christians, etc. And if you need patience, find and meditate on scriptures that speak about patience and he will show you how to deal with certain situations.
Be blessed sisters! Muahh!
I hope your week has been going well! I think it has been about a week since I last talked to you all but this week, I want to talk about the meaning of "love." What is love? I mean, what does it really mean? Alot of times we use this word but without any real insight to what love is suppose to bear.
This week, I am going to go to the book of 1 Corinthians 13:4-13 which describes love as the following:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. . .And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
Now, if you say you love someone, are you bearing the fruit mentioned above?
Let's just take the sentiments of patience and kindness. How are you being patience with the ones you love? Take two minutes to think about it. What are the times in your life that your patience was tested with your loves ones and you endured and didn't become irritable or frustrated? There are going to be situations in all of our lives where our patience is going to be tested but how we react is what really says alot about us and our level of love for the individual or individuals that may be involved.
Some of you may be saying, "Great, I got this. My patience level is off the chart!" But some of you may be thinking, "Wow, I really do need to improve on being a more patient person."
Well, this is what it says in the book of Thessolonians on patience.
1 Thessalonians 5:14
14 And we urge you, brothers, warn those who are idle, encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone.
Sometimes, we encounter experiences with other people who we may not have a relationship with directly as far as love BUT Jesus tells us in the new testament to "love your neighbor as you love yourself." So, even if you don't have a personal relationship with them, you are still to try and show them the love of God and be patient with them. Maybe it is someone on your job who has been working your nerves. In those situations, meditate on Thessalonians 5:14 and remind yourself that you are to be patient with everyone. You might have to get up, go to the bathroom and say a short prayer; just try to continually renew your mind so that you will gain more and more patience.
In James it says, "James 1:3–4
3 because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4 Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." When people do things to upset you, be slow to anger. Remember, in these instances your faith is being tested;your faith in God, his word, etc. Show that you truly do believe and have faith in his word when he says that you should love your neighbor as you love yourself by having patience with people because there are times when other people demonstrate patience with you! And when you love your neighbor as yourself, wouldn't you want someone to show love to you and be patient in your shortcomings.
Does this mean that you have to accept any and everything that a person dishes to you? No, of couse not. I am not saying this at all. I just received a word from the holy spirit. He says to "guard your heart above all things." The word can be found in Proverbs; "Above all else, guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life. Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you. Make level paths for your feet and take only ways that are firm. Do not swerve to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil." - Proverbs 4:23-27
Wow, I'm on a roll today! Glory to God cause' I just receive another word from the holy spirit. But let me finish the last verse with saying, when you guard your heart you are able to discern what to do in certain situations. When you keep your eyes straight ahead, you are only looking towards God and when you are looking towards him he is telling you what to do, how to react when you have someone in your life who is doing you wrong. They may be throwing "darts" at you or doing other things and God might say, "Go, down this road and turn here." The road he may be leading you down could be a road where this person may be taken out of your life for a specific season or reason in order for them to grow and develop or maybe a time for you to grow and develop also. If this happens, let it be because this is the time that you can use to pray for them and their shortcomings as well as yourself.
Okay, the next verse I just received is in Luke.
27"But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.
I know this is hard to do but this is what God instructs and we both know that he knows wayyyyyy more than us and there is a reason he tells us to do this. After all, we were once enemies with him and he loved us FIRST so why wouldn't this principal follow in our lives? Maybe I will expand on this more next week cause' this is hard for a lot of people to do.
Last verse I received, "All things work together for the good of those who LOVE God and are called according to his purpose." No matter what happens things are going to work out good for you if you love God. I'm not talking about religion, I'm talking about relationship; attempting to show your love for him by obeying his commandments, spending time with him, etc. When you show your love for God, he is going to tell you what to do and how to do it. When you pray, have an open ear and listen for his sheep know his voice. He will tell you how to deal with the people in your life, whether through profound dreams, the holy spirit, his Word, other Christians, etc. And if you need patience, find and meditate on scriptures that speak about patience and he will show you how to deal with certain situations.
Be blessed sisters! Muahh!
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Steps to Preparing Yourself for Future Husband
6.) Strengthen your spiritual relationship with God before getting into any relationship.
This has to be one of the most important things I have learned thus far in my life and if I would've known this earlier, alot of heart ache could have been saved. All my Christian ladies, if you are connected to God then he will lead you in all your paths and put you in the right places. But you have to be connected in order to hear from him and know when and where to turn. The more time you spend with him, the more you will get to know him. Try taking time throughout the day to say a prayer and worship thanking him for what he's done in your life, asking him to purify you and mold you into the type of woman he wants you to be. You can spend time reading a scripture in the bible and before reading it asking God to give revelation through his holy spirit of what he wants you to get out of the word and not what you want to see from it.
Over time, you will or should see yourself slowly changing if you have that desire because being in his prescence time and time again should change you. You should start to bear fruit resembling a "child of God." God is love so you should see your fruit bearing good things meaning you may have more patience than you've had in the past, you may stop cursing, lusting, gossiping, etc. But you should definitely see yourself change!
5.) Don't try and change a man!
You can't change anyone...okay? Let's get that straight first! Only God can change people and since you are not him, get over thinking that your lifestyle will instantly make him change. Now, I know some of you are saying, "Well, doesn't it say that if a Christian wife can influence her ungodly husband?" Yes, the bible does say that but they are speaking of a situation that has already occured where the woman became involved or married to the man while she was not a Christian also. It doesn't mean that you should jump in a relationship thinking that because you go to church, read the bible, pray and are righteous before God that this man will be....cause' trust me, he won't!
What will happen is first, you will be so in-love with this dude that you will fall off on your devotional time to God. I don't care what anyone says, relationships do effect the amount of time that you can devote to God...period. Instead of reading scripture, you will be on the phone talking to him till' 11:30 p.m. at night. Instead of going to church, you will not feel the need to go as you did before...thinking, "oh, it's just one Sunday." Somehow, that will turn into two, three and four and before you know it, you will have missed months of service. Then you won't even be connected to the body and have no one but other Christian friends speaking into your life and no other saints. All of this combined will make your flesh weak and soon you will start to give in to the advances of your boyfriend because your thinking, "Hey, we've been together for some time now. I mean, I know it's wrong but I'm only human." And that is when fornication, sexual sin ....whatever you want to call it will make you feel good, then bad, then good. It's the plight of many Christian women...balancing a healthy, normal relationship with not fornicating.
Don't make yourself go through this unnecessary because once soul ties are made...they are hard to break. You might find yourself thinking about an ex from three years ago and not know why...it's because of the soul tie made through sex that needs to be broken in the name of Jesus. Soul ties don't even have to be sexual so either way, make sure he is a man of God and the holy spirit will guide you on this. This leads me to tip # 3:
4.) Don't just accept or give your number to any man that looks and talks a good game!
This last week, some dude in one of those car places asked me for my number and what did I tell him, "You know, that's flattering but I am going to have to pray on this." Now, why did I tell him that? Well, first I wanted to see his initial physical reaction to the word "prayer." And two, I wanted to hear his verbal response to what I had to say.
Now, in this word we are taught to be so pc (politically correct). Don't talk about religion, sex or politics. Okay, I can understand this to a certain extent but my love life is not in the office and I'll be darn if I don't talk about God or try to keep him in some box for fear of being un-pc. It's just not happening for me. I want to see if this man I am interested in or vice versa is on the same level as me. Does he go to church...does he read the bible...is he steadily trying to improve his relationship with God?
Ladies, if you mention God to a man who wants to get to know you better and you see him frown or some involuntary twitch going on...then you want to do some more investigation before as I would likely say the conversation irriates him. Do you really want someone like that in your life? Sometimes, you can't see the signs cause' he may be a wolf in sheeps clothing and what your natural eye can't perceive the holy spirit can. That's one of the reason's we have him y'all...comfort, revelation, etc.
When you are praying about this man, just tell God how you feel. "God, I am really attracted to this man but I am unsure if he is a man of God or even if he is, I don't know if this man would be right for me. Lord, let your will be done in Jesus name cause' I don't know."
3.) Don't pursue the man!
You know, I know times have changed since the 50's but I am still a staunch believer that it is a man's nature to pursue the woman. What does scripture say, "He who finds a wife finds a good thing and receives favor from the Lord." Proverbs 8:35. So, what does that tell you right there? It tells you that the man goes out looking for his wife...not the wife looking for the husband. And that is exactly why I believe so many marriages end up not working because they are leveled on the wrong playing field from the start. You can't change the nature of what God has ordained and think it is going to work. Let the man be the man for goodness sake! If he wants you as much as you want him, there is not going to be anything to stop him...nothing! If he really is hoping to build something with you, then he would be afraid that another man is goin to come along and he is going to miss out on the opportunity of a life time and spend a long time regretting. Ladies, don't sell yourself short; let the man do the chasing.
2.) Don't date just to date.
Seriously, what is the point in "dating" (for Christians at least) if it isn't to marry? Okay, here is an example one of my friends just went through. She ended up dating a guy and missing the signs as often women do, that he wasn't ready for marriage. Now my friend is a Christian in her early twenties, this guy is in his mid-twenties. He told her he didn't want to get married until his early thirties. I mean seriously, "what the heck are you thinking?" So, you are telling her that you want to waste up her youth and years "dating" her, having all the pleasure of being in a relationship not to mention the guilt of sexual sin placed on her cause' she loved you and then turn around and say, "ummm, but I don't want to make that committment." Well, serioulsy dude, don't waste a woman's time. Time is precious and short. Life out here is difficult enough but then we ladies let guys take up time and waste it when there mind is not even in "marriage mode." Don't let some jerk take up your time blocking the your real future hubby. Establish before anything even heavy pops off.
"Bob, I'm flattered that you feel this way but I mean before we go any further, I have to know what you are looking for cause' I don't want to waste either one of our time." He could say, "I just want to kick" or "I am looking for a wife." If he is just looking to kick it, then you say, "Well, I want more than that. I'll pray that God directs your path."
See dating sets people up to be in relationships for 5 years with no prospects of being married. It sets women up to be "mothers of children" instead of "wives" and men to have a complaceny about what it means to be "in love." Don't be scurred to tell a man what you expect or mention the "m" word...they need to know where you are coming from so they can't say that they never knew.
1.) What Can You Offer?
Okay, this is something that took me some time to come to grips with but seriously, "What can you offer your future husband?" You are suppose to be a "help-meet" basically, you are called to make things come together and offer assistance. At least that is what I see myself as and I am recognizing and appreciating more and more the type of woman God has made me; I am truly a helper. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying if you are an agressive type of woman that you are in the wrong nature. I'm just saying that for me personally, I am not that way so of course God would have to put me with someone compatible to my personality traits. I'm not sure if an agressive woman goes with an agressive man so you would have to pray that God fits you to your perfect match in a man.
But back to the topic at hand. As a woman, you want to help your husband in every way possible. You want to help him excel in his God-given talents, his ambition for life, God's purpose for his life, in being a good father, a good husband, a outstanding leader in the church and community. That is the many things in addition to having your own ambitions that you are called to do, so ladies our job is not for the faint of heart.
And while you are waiting on your husband, still go out, enjoy life and take time to make self-improvements. Get your nails done, your hair done, read a book, take a pottery or painting class. Or in my case; get a gym membership and lose that thirty pounds you've been meaning to get off!
This has to be one of the most important things I have learned thus far in my life and if I would've known this earlier, alot of heart ache could have been saved. All my Christian ladies, if you are connected to God then he will lead you in all your paths and put you in the right places. But you have to be connected in order to hear from him and know when and where to turn. The more time you spend with him, the more you will get to know him. Try taking time throughout the day to say a prayer and worship thanking him for what he's done in your life, asking him to purify you and mold you into the type of woman he wants you to be. You can spend time reading a scripture in the bible and before reading it asking God to give revelation through his holy spirit of what he wants you to get out of the word and not what you want to see from it.
Over time, you will or should see yourself slowly changing if you have that desire because being in his prescence time and time again should change you. You should start to bear fruit resembling a "child of God." God is love so you should see your fruit bearing good things meaning you may have more patience than you've had in the past, you may stop cursing, lusting, gossiping, etc. But you should definitely see yourself change!
5.) Don't try and change a man!
You can't change anyone...okay? Let's get that straight first! Only God can change people and since you are not him, get over thinking that your lifestyle will instantly make him change. Now, I know some of you are saying, "Well, doesn't it say that if a Christian wife can influence her ungodly husband?" Yes, the bible does say that but they are speaking of a situation that has already occured where the woman became involved or married to the man while she was not a Christian also. It doesn't mean that you should jump in a relationship thinking that because you go to church, read the bible, pray and are righteous before God that this man will be....cause' trust me, he won't!
What will happen is first, you will be so in-love with this dude that you will fall off on your devotional time to God. I don't care what anyone says, relationships do effect the amount of time that you can devote to God...period. Instead of reading scripture, you will be on the phone talking to him till' 11:30 p.m. at night. Instead of going to church, you will not feel the need to go as you did before...thinking, "oh, it's just one Sunday." Somehow, that will turn into two, three and four and before you know it, you will have missed months of service. Then you won't even be connected to the body and have no one but other Christian friends speaking into your life and no other saints. All of this combined will make your flesh weak and soon you will start to give in to the advances of your boyfriend because your thinking, "Hey, we've been together for some time now. I mean, I know it's wrong but I'm only human." And that is when fornication, sexual sin ....whatever you want to call it will make you feel good, then bad, then good. It's the plight of many Christian women...balancing a healthy, normal relationship with not fornicating.
Don't make yourself go through this unnecessary because once soul ties are made...they are hard to break. You might find yourself thinking about an ex from three years ago and not know why...it's because of the soul tie made through sex that needs to be broken in the name of Jesus. Soul ties don't even have to be sexual so either way, make sure he is a man of God and the holy spirit will guide you on this. This leads me to tip # 3:
4.) Don't just accept or give your number to any man that looks and talks a good game!
This last week, some dude in one of those car places asked me for my number and what did I tell him, "You know, that's flattering but I am going to have to pray on this." Now, why did I tell him that? Well, first I wanted to see his initial physical reaction to the word "prayer." And two, I wanted to hear his verbal response to what I had to say.
Now, in this word we are taught to be so pc (politically correct). Don't talk about religion, sex or politics. Okay, I can understand this to a certain extent but my love life is not in the office and I'll be darn if I don't talk about God or try to keep him in some box for fear of being un-pc. It's just not happening for me. I want to see if this man I am interested in or vice versa is on the same level as me. Does he go to church...does he read the bible...is he steadily trying to improve his relationship with God?
Ladies, if you mention God to a man who wants to get to know you better and you see him frown or some involuntary twitch going on...then you want to do some more investigation before as I would likely say the conversation irriates him. Do you really want someone like that in your life? Sometimes, you can't see the signs cause' he may be a wolf in sheeps clothing and what your natural eye can't perceive the holy spirit can. That's one of the reason's we have him y'all...comfort, revelation, etc.
When you are praying about this man, just tell God how you feel. "God, I am really attracted to this man but I am unsure if he is a man of God or even if he is, I don't know if this man would be right for me. Lord, let your will be done in Jesus name cause' I don't know."
3.) Don't pursue the man!
You know, I know times have changed since the 50's but I am still a staunch believer that it is a man's nature to pursue the woman. What does scripture say, "He who finds a wife finds a good thing and receives favor from the Lord." Proverbs 8:35. So, what does that tell you right there? It tells you that the man goes out looking for his wife...not the wife looking for the husband. And that is exactly why I believe so many marriages end up not working because they are leveled on the wrong playing field from the start. You can't change the nature of what God has ordained and think it is going to work. Let the man be the man for goodness sake! If he wants you as much as you want him, there is not going to be anything to stop him...nothing! If he really is hoping to build something with you, then he would be afraid that another man is goin to come along and he is going to miss out on the opportunity of a life time and spend a long time regretting. Ladies, don't sell yourself short; let the man do the chasing.
2.) Don't date just to date.
Seriously, what is the point in "dating" (for Christians at least) if it isn't to marry? Okay, here is an example one of my friends just went through. She ended up dating a guy and missing the signs as often women do, that he wasn't ready for marriage. Now my friend is a Christian in her early twenties, this guy is in his mid-twenties. He told her he didn't want to get married until his early thirties. I mean seriously, "what the heck are you thinking?" So, you are telling her that you want to waste up her youth and years "dating" her, having all the pleasure of being in a relationship not to mention the guilt of sexual sin placed on her cause' she loved you and then turn around and say, "ummm, but I don't want to make that committment." Well, serioulsy dude, don't waste a woman's time. Time is precious and short. Life out here is difficult enough but then we ladies let guys take up time and waste it when there mind is not even in "marriage mode." Don't let some jerk take up your time blocking the your real future hubby. Establish before anything even heavy pops off.
"Bob, I'm flattered that you feel this way but I mean before we go any further, I have to know what you are looking for cause' I don't want to waste either one of our time." He could say, "I just want to kick" or "I am looking for a wife." If he is just looking to kick it, then you say, "Well, I want more than that. I'll pray that God directs your path."
See dating sets people up to be in relationships for 5 years with no prospects of being married. It sets women up to be "mothers of children" instead of "wives" and men to have a complaceny about what it means to be "in love." Don't be scurred to tell a man what you expect or mention the "m" word...they need to know where you are coming from so they can't say that they never knew.
1.) What Can You Offer?
Okay, this is something that took me some time to come to grips with but seriously, "What can you offer your future husband?" You are suppose to be a "help-meet" basically, you are called to make things come together and offer assistance. At least that is what I see myself as and I am recognizing and appreciating more and more the type of woman God has made me; I am truly a helper. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying if you are an agressive type of woman that you are in the wrong nature. I'm just saying that for me personally, I am not that way so of course God would have to put me with someone compatible to my personality traits. I'm not sure if an agressive woman goes with an agressive man so you would have to pray that God fits you to your perfect match in a man.
But back to the topic at hand. As a woman, you want to help your husband in every way possible. You want to help him excel in his God-given talents, his ambition for life, God's purpose for his life, in being a good father, a good husband, a outstanding leader in the church and community. That is the many things in addition to having your own ambitions that you are called to do, so ladies our job is not for the faint of heart.
And while you are waiting on your husband, still go out, enjoy life and take time to make self-improvements. Get your nails done, your hair done, read a book, take a pottery or painting class. Or in my case; get a gym membership and lose that thirty pounds you've been meaning to get off!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
